When you go to the optometrist for a checkup, you are told to look through lenses at the eye chart (This one…or this one?). At the beginning you will see double, everything a bit fuzzy. Then she tweaks something magical and the image comes into crystal clear focus as one image.
This is the perfect metaphor for what has happened to my life in the past three years.
There were obstacles in the road on this quest to simplify. I didn’t see them before, but now with a new pair of eyes, I hit myself in the head cartoon style and laugh that I didn’t see them before. Looking at this list, it’s no wonder a simpler life eluded me for so long.
1) Time wasting and mindless habits
With each minute I wasted trolling social media or needlessly checking email there was a completely missed opportunity to do the things I love. Read, write, walk, dream, read, converse, de-clutter…did I mention read? That’s the thing about habit (especially the digital kind)—they won’t change unless you mindfully remove the distraction. This is where digital sabbaticals and the release of Facebook came into play for me.
I also noticed that I have a tendency to do things the way I’ve always done them simply because I haven’t taken the time to look at what it blocks from my life. I do not need to spend an entire Saturday running errands and cleaning the house. It’s become a day for family fun, reading, hammock time (weather permitting) and slow cooking.
2) Excessive focus on what others think
It’s a beautiful thing to fully let go of the opinion and approval of others. We’ve always done things a little differently with our family, but I finally realized (wonders of all wonders) that this same principle applies to me. Out of this way of thinking has come a simplified wardrobe, changing my job back to working for someone else, taking note that my interior design style has completely changed and that I don’t want to drive the typical over-scheduled mom taxi. There has been a tremendous amount of freedom that’s come from being brave to just be me, however much I’ve changed over the years.
3) To-do lists that become cement blocks attached to my ankles
There will always be 101 things to do. I never get through the list and for awhile this used to send me into a hand-wringing state of tizzy-fitting. No more. I see now that more than half of the stuff just doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Do I really need to wash the bead board in the powder bathroom today? No one dies if things don’t get purchased, cleaned or organized. Phew. As a teacher there is the list for the day, but I love doing that list. It means wonderful things for little people who depend on me. But even with my constant state of flux in my colorful classroom, I know the difference between right now and in a few weeks.
4) Anxiety about What-ifs and JustInCases
I used to have an ability to turn borrowing trouble into an Olympic event. The good news is that constantly fretting about potential inconveniences and catastrophes really doesn’t change the outcome. If they appear, they appear and as adaptive humans, we learn to deal. I’ve had my share of dealing, believe me. Yet, the fussing and anxiety? ‘Tis best to let go of that rope. Now, for the JustInCases (I love this post!), those are a bit more challenging to release. I’m getting better, but I practice it monthly. This week there is a massive garage sale transpiring at the abode. I’m hoping it will spring forth much needed momentum!
5) A firm grasp on a career I wasn’t loving
If you had told me two years ago that I would be back teaching 3rd grade at this point in the game, I would’ve had a good belly laugh. My photography studio and book were front and center and I was hustling on that marketing Disco floor like nobody’s business. It is so great to let that piece go. It wasn’t me, but I was forcing it because of all the work I had done up to that point. So, so much time and effort went into building a successful business. The news flash was: Just because it’s successful financially, doesn’t mean I have to love it and stay with it. It took some letting go of pride and ego squelching to walk away and return to an old profession. The big surprise was that I didn’t even know how much I missed working with kids. To me, it’s the most important job there is. I go to bed every night knowing that I made a difference (even on my worst day). Invested time and money do not require a person to stay the course.
My friend Cecilia met a man in Texas who let go of his dentistry practice to become a craftsman of saddles. He told her he was not a happy dentist and was brave enough to make the change. His saddles were works of art and he lived more simply in order to something he loved every day. It completely overhauled his happiness. I love stories like that!
* * *
Removing simplicity obstacles is not a go-to-a-workshop-have-a-good-cry-and-reinvent-my-life territory. This has been a incredibly long baby-stepping journey where each obstacle was noted and conquered gradually. A control craving person does not have an epiphany over coffee. She documents the need for it and then intentionally releases it with each (almost) fearless step toward the Land of Letting Go and Changing Circumstance.
I’m also clear on the fact that this boulder removing process isn’t even close to being done. I will forever be sitting in the optometrist’s chair with adjustable lenses…and that’s a good thing.
How ’bout you? What obstacles have you uncovered in your quest for a simpler life?
~Don’t miss a post! Subscribe to my feed. Follow along no Twitter. Join the party on Facebook.~
What a timely and wonderful post to open and read today! the obstacles that I face ( in sneaky, tricky ways since it can wear many different masks!) are PERFECTION and CONTROL. These two partners in crime love to weasel their way into my conscious mind and from there they hijack my thoughts and away I go! The gift in these moments is my ability to recognize when they are taking charge and the ability to redirect them and myself without using force, coercion or negative self-talk. Well, sometimes that might creep in a bit too 🙂 Simplifying and honoring what truly matters are two ways I have found that allows me to lovingly redirect those little inner demons.
Great great GREAT read! My family and I are on the road to simplicity ourselves and reading posts like yours are very inspiring. Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences.
Absolutely–I love finding people on this same road. The images on your blog are lovely, btw. Nice work!
Thank you… 🙂
This is great! I so agree about the to do list I keep one but am debating deleting it for good because it only stresses me out… and everything that needs to get done always gets done without it.
Letting go of how I thought my “life should be” (and leaning into the natural uncertainty of life) has really simplified my life and allowed more space for joy!
Thanks for writing!
I’m all for elimating any producer of stress 🙂 I love that “leaning into the natural uncertainty of life”. Nicely put!
Love the analogy with the eye exam! 🙂
My main obstacles on the way to a simpler life could be summed up as attachment. Attachment to material things, to goals, to habits, etc. Detachment has been the answer. I realized the world doesn’t stop turning when I take a break (even a long one), and I realized there are only a few things I really need in my life.
Pingback: Midweek Reads #5 |
I must say I have started letting go of many of the worries that have haunted me for long. It came to a time when I decided I could not continue living my life to please others.
I made the decision to let go and let God. Also I stopped comparing myself with others. My recent blog post reflected that, where I talked about why you should not strive to be the best.
I also see many things as vanity now. Not much point in many of them. You feel lighter when you take critical look at some things.
I still believe though that simplicity must also be in moderation. We still have to live.