Simplified FAMILY/HOME LIFE

8 lessons 3rd graders can teach you to have an extraordinary life

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This summer has been amazing. Lots of family adventures and travel. I’ve got some images from a trip to Santa Fe I can’t wait to show you (soon!). I’m always a bit melancholy at the end of August, but there’s also some excitement mixed in there to get back at it.

As I head back to my classroom tomorrow, I will enter a place where I learn as well…A LOT, actually. I love letting go of the technology that has grabbed hold in our house with our teens. I love embracing the fact that I need to give all of my attention, because 8 and 9-year-olds require all of you most of the time. I am happy to give it to them. In fact, it’s nice to have someone want your attention and guidance sans grumbling! I have been making a list of what the small people in my life have taught me.

 

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1) Let go of multi-tasking and give it your all

I believe it’s true. Multi-tasking makes a person stupid…well, as least me. There is so much power in giving complete focus to the task at hand, whether it’s teaching writing or making a green smoothie. I’m hell-bent on committing to this..and not just in my classroom. Cooking isn’t something I enjoy, but maybe it’s because I’m trying to make appointments on my cell and organize the cereal cabinet while I’m making spaghetti. Focus, Lara, focus!

2) Your wardrobe shouldn’t hold you back from playing kickball

I have really enjoyed having just a few items (black and gray–my Johnny Cash wardrobe!) to wear this summer and I’ve gone to great lengths to weed out my fall closet as well. Lots of comfortable fabrics with flexibility for crawling around on the floor. I managed to find items that also look professional. The extra time (and space in my brain) this frees up is very liberating.

3) Forgive easily and often

3rd graders don’t hold grudges. It’s fabulous and I intend to follow their lead on this as well. Not to be trite, but life’s too short to keep score. Is it that we have so much baggage built up over our tired, harried lives that we just can’t let go? Ahhh..to be 9.

4) Ask for help when obstacles arise

I’m not good at this and I’m always amazed at how easy this process is for kids. In our getting our rooms ready week, I have bravely asked people I respect for help with certain teaching methods/curriculum for this year. ‘Feels good! People want to help and feel honored when asked. We should do this more often.

5) Seek friendships with all walks of life

3rd graders do not polarize themselves in our school. They tend to be very open with who they play with during recess. I can’t say enough how much the cover-of-the-book-judging has hindered some great relationships in my life. I’m more open now to different types of people and have been enriched with these friendships.

6) Get excited about simple things

I can’t tell you how much squealing ensues when there’s a prize box involved in my classroom….or some extra time for a class kickball game…or a visitor coming in to our room to teach us something new. Their enthusiasm is contagious and awesome—one of my favorite things about this age. Having coffee ready to go in the coffee maker at 5:00 is something to be excited about. As is a found earring on the floor of the car.

7) Celebrate small victories

When did we stop celebrating little victories? They’re the lighter fluid that gets that fire roaring. Times tables, continent memorization, handwriting improvement…so many opportunities to dance the happy dance when I turn on I Feel Good in our room. Behind the prize box, dancing on the desk (with feet “glued” to the top) is our most coveted thing in room 205. As an adult, having the bills paid with a little money left over for a weekend trip is definitely something to shake the disco booty about.

8) Show appreciation & affection at every given opportunity

I’m a hugger. My kids take full advantage of this at the end of the day. I want them to know I’m proud of them and happy that we had our day together. What’s great about 3rd grade is that they’re small enough that it isn’t awkward 🙂 Especially with the boys. They slip and call me mom all the time–what a privilege to be in that category! Affection and appreciation is a bucket-filler for adults and sometimes we underestimate its power.

I hope your summer was extra lovely and you’re enjoying the beginnings of fall where you are.

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On my SIMPLICITY radar

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It’s become a broken record saying, but it holds steadfast: Gratitude brings happiness into your life.

gratitudeJournalApp

I like this gratitude recording app because it pops up at random times during the day (hence the name!). I like going back through my days to see what was bringing me joy.

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Paleo eating has proven challenging when traveling to multiple destinations with the family.

I can’t remember what author stated that one who is mindful about what they eat “shouldn’t be caught with their pants down” (meaning, having nothing in my purse and a plethora of fast food joints in view are not a good combo). I have discovered some great purse-worthy snacks and these are at the top of the list.

RawRevolution

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This bar  and this jerky have gotten me through some moments when there wasn’t any food for me around and I was in peril of snarfing down garbage.

 

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MapofEnough

Loving this book—a good summer read when there’s much reflecting about the necessities of life. I have fallen in love with so many quotes from this gem…notably: “How do you grow into someone you like?”, “We must root to rise”, and “No one is static. You didn’t marry one person, but all the past and current and future people within that one person”. Molly Caro May is a poet and a visionary. Can’t wait until she writes another book.

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HGTV candy

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This tiny house blew my mind on Tiny House Nation. It had so many cool uses of multi-use space. I’ve got a big ‘ole crush on Zack Giffin...and not only for his building skills!

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Finally, a fan letter to the Matriarch of Tiny (the BIG tiny, that is)…

Dee

Dear Dee,

I adore you. Your wit..grit..humor..bravery. All of it. I got some strange looks on the plane while reading your book—seems laughing wildly is not acceptable in small spaces these days. I was moved by your story, but even more inspired by your character and attitude about life. You are a treasure and I can’t wait to see what you do next!

With admiration-

Lara Blair

(Hmmm…seems someone has an author crush. I can’t help it! There are so many wonderful simplicity writers out there putting their uplifting words on paper. So glad to have time to read this summer! ‘Beauty of being a teacher.)

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What are you eating, reading, watching this summer, friends? I’d love to hear!

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Who else yearns for family-free alone time?

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It’s clear to me that a huge part of a Simplicity Quest is letting go.

This summer, with a house full of “teen scene” and girls who would rather walk across hot coals than be seen with their mother at the local pool, I am experiencing a bit more freedom. I’m letting go of my roles as Julie McCoy (Love Boat cruise director for those of you under 35) and chauffeur extraordinaire. Stolen moments alone have been popping up much more lately, to my sheer delight. I was at my dad’s place this past week and I wrote about how it felt. Strangely, just having time to sit quietly and write felt decadent (and necessary).

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How many times have I sat in this same sandy dune, sparkly silver granules blowing in miniature tornadoes around my ankles? It’s an unusally warm day on the Oregon Coast and my shoulders soak in the sun like thirsty plants. I turn my head one direction and the wind blows past my ears, hair whips obstructing my view. I feel a complete part of this beautiful scene. I turn my head the other way and I’m deafened by the whipping gusts reminding me of the difference between California and Oregon beaches in July. As if  this beach is whispering, I’m still a rugged coast, water chilled and erosion beaten cliffs. Pointy beach grass shadows pave the way down to the hardened sand where I wiggle my toes, diving deeper, water seeping up to the top–future makings of drippings for a child’s sand castle trim. I am reveling in island time with no mom duties or schedule bending to fit the whims and desires of beach companions. Me, the steady white noise of the waves and a serenity trickling into my neck and shoulders stand in the center of this summer day, a deliberate release of seasonal frenzy and lingering to-do lists.

A steady gait leads me down the sand, tailwind propelling me with a promise of struggle when it’s time to turn and head home. It’s worth every step towards open, wide beach filled with kite boarders, family football games and shell-collecting children.

I love all of it.

This is my happy place, full of our family’s memory collection of 4th of July parades, 10 foot wide sand castle compounds and naps stolen against resting driftwood logs. It’s such a different experience on my own. I slowly play a movie in my head of all four seasons where I partake in this coastal luxury solo…thinking, writing, creating. Maybe it’s my recent finished read of “Gifts From the Sea”, Anne Morrow’s beachy answer to a “A Room of One’s Own”. There is zero guilt of taking this time alone and I feel free to fully embrace all the magic and nostalgia the coast can bring. It settles in my chest like a heating pad, dial turned up, tingling warm and comforting. Words like rejuventate, recharge and rest (r words are my favorite) pop into my head like a free association game I’m playing with the sea. Is it the crashing waves that drown out all worry and heaviness? Or is it the sand drifts, rolling in vast, airy space that allow me to breathe deeply? I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. Once again I reach for the invisible mason jar to bottle it all up so it can be poured out on my desk in February when the daydreams start…small coastal town ice cream shops, picnic-bound bicycles with baskets, and of course, my beloved Manzanita receding tides.

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Hoping you have time to think in a beautiful place ~ happy August!

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5 things from 1989 to better my life

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Is it a bad thing to constantly want to turn the clock back to 1989?

It’s not the cool high bangs look or the colored leather that brings such longing. Nor is it a yearning for synthesizer-heavy tunes, a livin’ large attitude or step aerobics craze. For me, it was the beginning of my “adult years” (ahem, the big 1-8 that year) when I was ready to take on the world and the world at that time was filled with face-to-face conversations, the beauty of being unavailable by phone (no email yet!), written correspondence, rerun city on the boob tube in summer and a general sense that a solid resume and a winning attitude could get you far in a possible career.

What has happened to us?

Yes, I’m a user of the internet. Heck yes, I’m a believer that it makes marketing and making a living easier (especially fabulous when done in PJ’s from your kitchen table). This is a very exciting time to be an entrepreneur in the making. Yet, there’s a flip side too….Who needs Christmas holiday letters when we can keep up with our friends’ dinner plate photos and party plans on Facebook all year round? Why mess with sending thank you cards when a short email will suffice? Teenage breakups are even easier when one can text a jilted lover that it’s over.

I’m beginning to feel that it’s all too much.

My heart is caught between a vice of the digital keep-up and a wedge of comparison to others’ lives. Lives I didn’t even know much about (which turns out was a good thing) before social media parachuted violently into our laptops and smart phones. I feel sheepish for yearning for the days when my home phone would ring and no one was there to answer it—I simply was not reachable. I hate to admit it, but I really, really like being unreachable sometimes. What does it take now for folks to render us legally unavailable? Balancing atop Mt. Everest? Gawking at penguins in the Artic? Somehow I’m thinking these two places might even be candidates for emergency cell service and it makes my head hurt.

I’m also keenly aware that I am part of the problem. I haven’t holed up in a cabin J.D. Salinger-style. I haven’t shunned social media with peacock-like pomposity and a drive to communicate with every person I know over coffee instead of Skype. I’m sitting directly in the center of this lovely glass house, arm raised, stone in hand. Yet there are days when my 80’s nostalgia rears it’s ugly heavily made-up eyes and wants it be different. I know I’m not alone because my spouse and I lament about this like two old ladies regularly over our morning coffee. My teen daughter was overheard saying to her sister, “It was so great that our summer camp outlawed phones. We were all happier for it. There was no FOMO going on while playing Capture the Flag or hanging in the lodge.” Ah, that one made me open my eyes wide, wide, wide. What have we done to our kids?

It got me thinking.

 

80snostalgia

 

1) Communicate clearly that I’m unavailable.

Hello vacay email and voicemail message. I’m not reachable when I say I’m not reachable, right? Of course, easier said than done for folks who have their superiors breathing down their necks all the time. For a teacher, I admit this one is a little bit easier. But this is my time capsule, yes?

2) Call a cease fire on social media

I’ve gone round and round with myself on this one and finally landed on a happy place of tweeting and FB’ing blog posts only. I don’t lurk or dwell, yet I do want people to read (like you!) about this message, because I think it’s important.

3) Adhere to at-home digital sabbaticals

We’re still working on this, but I’m loving it when we are committed. All phones go in a basket by the door when we have company, too—love that one.

4) Stop the hustle of trying to be heard

As a past photographer who did all marketing through social media and blog posts, I have had to wean myself of the proverbial tap-dance of self promotion. I think this hustle was a huge reason I left my entrepreneurial life for my teaching job. Frankly, I’m was done with trying to get my squeaky voice to rise above the din in the noisy lunchroom that is online networking. I just want to write and then hope that my words are read by and matter to someone. I’m officially subscribing to the JUST DO REALLY GOOD WORK mantra in this cyber world of horn-tooting and me-glorification and hope that it will be what it’s supposed to be. On this topic, I loved this article about more doing, less promoting.

5) Two words: Down time

I love the Italians for their phrase, l’arte di non fare niente, the art of doing nothing. I used to suck at this. I always had to have baskets and baskets filled with the fruits of my labor. And for what? Burn-out and anxiety. No longer is this something I feel guilty doing—it’s my weekend currency and I’m trying to spread this hang-out-in-a-hammock pixie dust to everyone in my clan. It’s important and I want my girls to know what it feels like.

Will they long for 2018 when they’re older? I wonder.

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Anyone else feel anxiety at the mall?

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Limiting one’s desires actually helps to cure one of fear.

~ Seneca “Letters from a Stoic”

Having teens I’m coming to the conclusion that they naturally gravitate to the mall like a fly to stink. I would be a happy camper if I never went into one again and I’ve come up with a list that supports this I’m-the-mom-I’m-taking-a-stand decision.

 

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1) Safety

If you’ve been anywhere near a TV in the last ten years, you know that you might be safer driving through the streets of Watts than trolling the floors of your local shopping center. Such a sad state of affairs. Watching the news with my mouth on the floor (our local mall had a major shooting two years ago) and tears in my eyes has become too common. I don’t know the answer to my daughters’ questions of, “Why would someone hurt innocent people?” Call me paranoid, but if I can avoid being out in the open (with my children no less) when a loon opens fire, I will make that choice.

2) Avoiding the Teen Gimmees

Funny how they don’t surface quite as much when we’re hanging around the house. It’s that whole “out of sight, out of mind” thing. While I was working on this post, Joshua Becker came up with a brilliant list about raising consumer conscious teens. Good, good advice.

3) Fending off my own Gimmees

Funny how I don’t need anything when it’s not in front of my face.

4) The excess makes me anxious and sad.

Simply put, the place makes my heart heavy.

True blog confession here: I had a total freak-out the other day when I was shopping with my kids for much needed summer shorts. Our local mall was crowded and bustling and I was (as only I can do) equating my current view with the sad, materialistic state of our whole country. I was thinking about the broken people who fill the holes in their lives/hearts with buying stuff. I was thinking about women and our totally skewed view of our bodies due to advertisements telling us we need to feel okay. I was even thinking about the many poverty stricken folks in our midst who need us to help, rather than throw our money at things that just don’t matter. I’m not one for anxiety attacks or panic episodes, but in this instance my heart beat faster and I felt more agitation than usual. It was a “what have we become?” moment and I was sad to be a part of it. I had that let’s-move-to-a-cabin-in-backwoods-Montana feeling and it created a darkness for me that’s unusual. What the heck is going on here? Still trying to figure it out.

Does anyone else feel this way?

 

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**Our Twinkie trips are revving up for the summer, so posts may not be as frequent…trying to keep it simple, friends. 🙂 **

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How I overcame obstacles on the road to simplicity

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When you go to the optometrist for a checkup, you are told to look through lenses at the eye chart (This one…or this one?). At the beginning you will see double, everything a bit fuzzy. Then she tweaks something magical and the image comes into crystal clear focus as one image.

This is the perfect metaphor for what has happened to my life in the past three years.

There were obstacles in the road on this quest to simplify. I didn’t see them before, but now with a new pair of eyes, I hit myself in the head cartoon style and laugh that I didn’t see them before. Looking at this list, it’s no wonder a simpler life eluded me for so long.

1) Time wasting and mindless habits

With each minute I wasted trolling social media or needlessly checking email there was a completely missed opportunity to do the things I love. Read, write, walk, dream, read, converse, de-clutter…did I mention read? That’s the thing about habit (especially the digital kind)—they won’t change unless you mindfully remove the distraction. This is where digital sabbaticals and the release of Facebook came into play for me.

I also noticed that I have a tendency to do things the way I’ve always done them simply because I haven’t taken the time to look at what it blocks from my life. I do not need to spend an entire Saturday running errands and cleaning the house. It’s become a day for family fun, reading, hammock time (weather permitting) and slow cooking.

2) Excessive focus on what others think

It’s a beautiful thing to fully let go of the opinion and approval of others. We’ve always done things a little differently with our family, but I finally realized (wonders of all wonders) that this same principle applies to me. Out of this way of thinking has come a simplified wardrobe, changing my job back to working for someone else, taking note that my interior design style has completely changed and that I don’t want to drive the typical over-scheduled mom taxi. There has been a tremendous amount of freedom that’s come from being brave to just be me, however much I’ve changed over the years.

3) To-do lists that become cement blocks attached to my ankles

There will always be 101 things to do. I never get through the list and for awhile this used to send me into a hand-wringing state of tizzy-fitting. No more. I see now that more than half of the stuff just doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Do I really need to wash the bead board in the powder bathroom today? No one dies if things don’t get purchased, cleaned or organized. Phew. As a teacher there is the list for the day, but I love doing that list. It means wonderful things for little people who depend on me. But even with my constant state of flux in my colorful classroom, I know the difference between right now and in a few weeks.

4) Anxiety about What-ifs and JustInCases

I used to have an ability to turn borrowing trouble into an Olympic event. The good news is that constantly fretting about potential inconveniences and catastrophes really doesn’t change the outcome. If they appear, they appear and as adaptive humans, we learn to deal. I’ve had my share of dealing, believe me. Yet, the fussing and anxiety? ‘Tis best to let go of that rope. Now, for the JustInCases (I love this post!), those are a bit more challenging to release. I’m getting better, but I practice it monthly. This week there is a massive garage sale transpiring at the abode. I’m hoping it will spring forth much needed momentum!

5) A firm grasp on a career I wasn’t loving

If you had told me two years ago that I would be back teaching 3rd grade at this point in the game, I would’ve had a good belly laugh. My photography studio and book were front and center and I was hustling on that marketing Disco floor like nobody’s business. It is so great to let that piece go. It wasn’t me, but I was forcing it because of all the work I had done up to that point. So, so much time and effort went into building a successful business. The news flash was: Just because it’s successful financially, doesn’t mean I have to love it and stay with it. It took some letting go of pride and ego squelching to walk away and return to an old profession. The big surprise was that I didn’t even know how much I missed working with kids. To me, it’s the most important job there is. I go to bed every night knowing that I made a difference (even on my worst day). Invested time and money do not require a person to stay the course.

My friend Cecilia met a man in Texas who let go of his dentistry practice to become a craftsman of saddles. He told her he was not a happy dentist and was brave enough to make the change. His saddles were works of art and he lived more simply in order to something he loved every day. It completely overhauled his happiness. I love stories like that!

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Removing simplicity obstacles is not a go-to-a-workshop-have-a-good-cry-and-reinvent-my-life territory. This has been a incredibly long baby-stepping journey where each obstacle was noted and conquered gradually. A control craving person does not have an epiphany over coffee. She documents the need for it and then intentionally releases it with each (almost) fearless step toward the Land of Letting Go and Changing Circumstance.

I’m also clear on the fact that this boulder removing process isn’t even close to being done. I will forever be sitting in the optometrist’s chair with adjustable lenses…and that’s a good thing.

How ’bout you? What obstacles have you uncovered in your quest for a simpler life?

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7 Things I would tell my 10-year-old self

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When you’re on a quest for a different way to live (ahem..What shall we unclutter next?!) ) it’s so easy to point out where you went wrong through the years. I was having a day. You know the kind…where you start with toothpaste slopping on your black shirt and end with dog poop at the foot of your side of the bed. Well, I decided to end the day on a hopeful note and compose a letter to the girl in the picture (Oh, how I loved those skates!):

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Dear ten-year-old girl,

Enjoy every minute of your front walk rollerskating days. This is the time to play outside and frolic and be worry-free. I bet you feel pretty fearless at this moment. It’s such a great age to believe that one day you will be doing exactly what you were meant to do. I want to provide you with a list of what to hold in your heart as you grow out of those skates and into your grown-up life.

1) Hold onto to those big dreams of what you want to be when you grow up. Remember the talents that come naturally to you and don’t be afraid to use them even if others tell you that you can’t make a living doing them.

2) Know that you are worthy of love at all times and never, ever let anyone make you feel small. Simply walk away in confidence when you sense that someone doesn’t know the value of your love. Hold your head high when you make mistakes (admit them too–out loud) and know that there will be many…but it’s okay…because that’s how we learn.

3) Marvel at how well your body serves you as you grow into it. There will be so many changes, but through it all remember to be grateful for your health at all times. Part of being grateful is taking care of it by not getting too much sun and eating lots of live foods. You know, like the pounds of cherries and apples you ate in hot summer months. They’re still important when you’re forty…you’ll see. Also, know that there is future invention called Photoshop and retouching that will make magazine models look perfect. Remember that it’s hocus pocus…better yet, avoid looking at them altogether. You’re lovely just the way you are.

4) It’s your responsibility to keep that chin up when you’re frustrated, even though positive attitudes might not be in the people around you. Language yourself in a way that others know you have self-respect and hope for the future, even when things don’t go your way.

5) Ask for help and give help when you can. Be sure to include those who seem to be pushed aside…the clique thing changes a bit as you get older, but not much. Value what everyone can bring to the table. You’ll see that one day the eccentric young people are the folks who achieve amazing things in this world. Look to them now for insight and inspiration. They will teach you a lot.

6) Trust your gut instincts with ruthless conviction and don’t lose yourself in others…especially when it comes to BOYS. They take up way too much time when you should be focusing on your own dreams. Mr. Right will show up eventually. Ironically, yours will because he’s drawn to your independence.

7) Forgive, forgive, forgive….and know that your parents did the best they could with what they have and they adored and loved you. Look at them with loving eyes always in return.

As your future favorite poet, Rainier, said,

“Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

Know that the answers may be disguised as disappointments–but don’t give up on them.

You. Can. Do. Hard. Things.

Love, Me

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What would you say to your 10-year-old self?

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4 life-saving steps when dealing with Big Change

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image via SheMadeCrafts

Years ago my bed linens became a window into my own psyche.

‘Tis a strange statement from someone who rarely makes her bed. I tried for years to take the Martha Stewart High Road (even google-ing how to fold a fitted sheet. Life is waaaay to short for that, btw) and it just didn’t take.So I just closed the ‘ole bedroom door and prayed that none of my guests wanted to take an upstairs tour.

I digress…

Back to deep thoughts about pillow cases and dust ruffles. It began the day the hub came home and asked me if I still had a spirit of adventure. Such a loaded question! It was more like spirit of relaxation in that moment because we had only been in our house a year and 1/2 after a very long building process (our DREAM home that my spouse built with his own 2 hands). I was only two days past unpacking the last box, ready to take a breather.

“Adventure? What kind of adventure?”

Heavy sigh from me.

Wide-eyed wonder from the hub.

He’d been offered a promotion in his company and it required a New York address. He launched into the our-kids-are-young-and-flexible-it-would-be-fun-to-do-something-rash speech and all I could do was look around at the plates and pans that finally found their final resting cabinet place.

Luckily, my spouse was clued in to my wanderlust nature when we first got together. He was counting on me thinking about the positives (Manhattan fun, snow storms, road trips to new places, learning to say Cwa-fee and dwag), yet all I can do was bite my nails and ask a million questions about what his other options were.

After two look-see visits, a lot of freaking out about how little you get for your money anywhere near the city, and one very teary-eyed talk with our extended family, we did it: Packed up two toddlers (one that had been potty-trained 4 days prior), 16,000 lbs of stuff (I know, what on earth was in that moving truck?) and drove 8 days to start our new life.

This confessional writing is not about our move, our NY experience or even how we decided to return to the Northwest. It’s about the weeks in between when we really weren’t sure if we were going to do it.

The agonizing feeling of letting go and letting the answer unfold on its own.

Enter the bed linens….

I started doing something really weird. Like, strange Who am I?  weird.

I started ironing my pillowcases and the top sheet and made my bed every day. At first I tried to ignore this behavior and pretend to myself that it was perfectly normal. But, really? An iron and board set up in my bedroom for weeks?

As we got closer to saying the final yes and set out to make an appointment with our selling realtor, I broke it down for myself in a journal. First, I was beginning to see a metaphor—ironing out the wrinkles and making something perfect was very therapeutic when my life was about to be turned upside down. I also came to some interesting conclusions:

I do not like to feel like things are out of my control.

My first inclination with change is to be fearful.

I elicit control in strange ways when I feel helpless.

And here’s an even funnier element of this little tale—I continued to iron away even when I figured out the psychology behind it! Cracked myself up. Of course, NY turned out to be fantastic and I look on that move as a total positive because it really has added to our lives as a family. The moment we pulled out of the driveway, I released the sheets, the iron, the need to know what comes next. The whole experience taught me trust. Trust that it’s really out of my hands. After this experience I made a list for dealing with Big Life Changes in the future (and I’m counting this whole simplicity thing because it hasn’t been easy):

 

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1) Welcome adventure and new learning experiences

You just never know what kinds of wonderful are waiting around the corner from new opportunities. New York seemed bigger than life to me, but it did so much for our family bonding experience, not to mention broaden our view of this great country. Some of our closest friends were made there. I still check the ridiculous winter temps in Warwick, NY on my phone.

2) Be positive and expect great things

When we’re fearful and apprehensive, it shows to the world and can cut us off from people who can make transitions easier. Show your best self—believe that this change could be amazing for you and/or your family and wait for the angels to show up. They sure did for us.

3) Recognize that change can also bring necessary sacrifice

There were many things we missed when living in the East. There were days we just yearned to take a walk in February without six layers of clothing. Yet, the snow was incredibly fun. My kids still talk about the winter where we couldn’t see our front steps for a week. Big Change can also help you to be grateful for what you had and also for what can be in a new situation. It’s all about perspective and being open to what good can come out of transitions.

4) Understand that Big Change is a process and patience is required

Whether it’s a cross country move, a change in lifestyle, a new career or even a nest being emptied, it all takes time. Thank goodness for that because overnight change just isn’t a a fun, stable place to dwell. I dealt with our move by journaling, talking incessantly with my spouse, going online to look at places we would be able to visit, and of course, ironing. The process of moving back home was also a major adjustment and being the predictable creature that I am, the iron made another appearance and I just went with it. 🙂

What about you? What’s your ironed sheet when you face the unknown? What big changes brought all kinds of unexpected greatness into your life?

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5 Ways to engage your inner hobbyist (without the stuff that goes with it)

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~My creations~

Charm soldering

Fine Art photography

Darkroom printing

Mixed media art

Sewing

Headband-making

Plaster sculpture

Encaustic wax

Diorama model making

Jewelry making

Lamp design (say, what?)

Purse design

Skirt design

Card-making

Book binding

* * *

This, my sweet friends, is a list compiled of my interests within the last six years alone.

Good grief, it’s frightening to look at it as a long list. Each and every one of these little forays into artsy-land brings a plethora of GEAR stocked and ready in my studio…and my home…and the attic…and the garage…

I’m feeling an epiphany welling up from my hobby-obsessed heart:

In the past I decided to dabble in a creative interest and proceeded to troll Amazon for every book known to man on the subject (used, so it’s ok, right?). I also managed to purchase all the fixins’ to get it going long before the drive to actually do the hobby showed up.

Madness.

In my bouts of purging and donating this past year, I began to stumble across little tombs of hobby supplies in all areas of my life. I expected to hear a voice ask me if I’d like to lie down on the couch for some inner excavation. It’s one thing to chalk it up to being creative and having a ton of interests, but quite another to realize that very few hobbies on this list lasted more than a few rounds. I think I actually believed that if the stuff was acquired for the hobby, I would actually do the hobby on a frequent basis.

That would be wrong.

Lest you fall into this same trap (or..sigh..you see this pattern in your own creative home), this is for you:

 

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1) Attend a class that supplies you with everything for a nominal fee. You pay your fee, make a craft, have some fun, and evaluate whether you’d like to do it again. No fuss, no muss (and no vats of plaster loitering in your studio closet either…true story. Yikes.)

2) Watch someone do the hobby and do a mini interview about why they like it. Observe, ponder, shelve it. If you are dreaming about it 2 months later, it might be time to take a class (see #1).

3) Find a buddy who’d like to share in the cost of the needed items for a specific hobby (a soldering gun is not cheap, friends. It’s especially distressing when you make 10 charms, badly burn your index finger and call it good).

4) Commit to a hobby that doesn’t require gear and see if you actually follow through for at least three months…mmmm..say, blogging...or writing. Minimal start-up costs, lots of rewards (funny how my favorite hobby ended up being the one without physical stuff! Epiphany, indeed).

5) Go on a spending moratorium for a specified number of months and see if you had any grand withdrawals over not being able to ______________ (fill in the hobby blank).

I’ve already admitted that I have an Amazon Issue…a sickness, really. My art/craft library is ready for its close-up—and rather than hang my head in shame, I’m committing to one hobby-dabble a month for the next year. If it doesn’t stick, the gear (and the books) must be given to someone who actually will DO THE HOBBY.

* * * * * * **

Being the prideful creative that I am, this post was hard to write. I had to admit some disturbing (and expensive) consumer-induced mistakes. Yet, I can honestly say I feel better now. Ready to fix the issue and press on in this simplifying journey. This blog is definitely helping me be brave and that makes me happy.

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4 steps to overcome life’s obstacles & live your dream

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image via Mystery Wallpaper

Many of us have a hard time giving ourselves the gift of realizing big dreams.

Life gets in the way.

When the kids leave…when the house is paid for…when I finally unclutter my work space…when I finish school…

I do believe that there are appropriate times for going for it where big dreams are concerned, but it is always a good time to steer ourselves in the general direction of where we want to end up. A huge part of it is eliminating the obstacles that pop up like moles on the lawn of life.

 

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1) Practice “If it’s not a yes, it’s a no”.

The principle is that if you’re hemming and hawing about something…can’t make up your mind to start that painting class or enroll in book writing 101 or even make a massive career change, it might be a no. Is it possible you are picking this path because you feel you should? Or someone expects this of you? Or is it truly a passion? Or is it burning desire that keeps you up at night? The yes is there, but the plan is not. AND THAT’S OKAY. If it truly is a giant, big ‘ole pink elephant that follows you around, the plan will come if you devote some time and energy to it.

Ask yourself: “If fear was eliminated, would it be a yes?”

Take a deep breath and commit yourself to micro-movements, which are small steps to get closer to doing this thing that just might make you deliriously happy.

2) Embrace time management

168 hours. That’s what makes up your week. Laura Vanderkam literally wrote the book about this topic and came up with some interesting stats about how we spend our time. Her blog can get you started to begin the process of tracking your own. Trust me, it’s enlightening and scary at the same time. Committing to making small steps is going to cause a shift in your time management tectonic plates. If you value sleep, cuts will need to be made somewhere. I suggest starting with Facebook and Twitter and then take a look at the reality TV crap-ola time that is flushed down the ‘ole john each week. Take inventory of what you’re willing to give up to get closer to making time for your dream to happen. Write it down in your planner as an appointment with yourself.

Your goal is worth being written into your life…in pen.

3) Truly let go…for good

Toxic friendships that suck you dry…the quest to have the perfect house…the expectation to keep up with the rat race in your neighborhood…volunteering your time in places you know you’re not appreciated…doing a job you absolutely despise…

Give yourself permission to release relationships that are detrimental to your dream. I realize the whole job thing is a tough one, but I can honestly say that with the other issues, you’d be doing yourself a huge favor if you simply and directly released it from your life. Such hard things…believe me, I know. ‘Been there with at least twice and it is terribly difficult, but it was so worth it. It freed up such a huge space in my brain for things that really mattered to me.

You can do it. It will mean magic for your journey!

3) Give yourself permission to be alone to map out a plan

This is a hard one for women with kidlets hanging from their very limbs, but it is not selfish to ask for this time. I hear it so much from friends (especially women who work and are uber-moms upon walking in the door) that they feel like it takes too much time away from their family to bring a dream into the fray.

I beg you not to believe this for a second.

You must ask for this time and take it. Even if there’s risk of people (small and large) living on your planet giving you a hard time. You’re not flying to Tahiti for two weeks, for cryin’ out loud. You simply want time to test out or even (yah!) pursue a dream. Remember? That little friend who seems to be sulking in the corner while you stir the spaghetti sauce?

Yeah–her. She’s calling you.

4) Pursue Courage and Bravery with wild abandon

This involves deciding to move forward when moving forward seems completely draining and awkward. Bravery doesn’t make a list of negative what-ifs. It only brings on the mojo to do what needs to be done. Courage means stepping out and looking forward…not casting your peepers side to side to see what others in your profession are doing or making or writing. Yes, we can support friends who are realizing their dreams too, but be mindful of what’s stirring in your heart when you go about realizing yours.

Does the success of others make you anxious?

Does it make you feel like you’re not doing enough?

Does it make you feel small?

Recognize it and don’t go there for awhile. Stay right in your own space with your own lovely, beautiful, talented self and make plans. Revel in just being present with that pink elephant. Don’t let the small voice of doubt creep in.

Know thyself. And if thyself can’t handle looking at the amazing fast-track success of others, be okay with it. Abandon Facebook and Twitter for a few weeks and see if it helps.

* * *

Give your dream the space in your brain, your home, and your life that it deserves. If you nurture it and believe that growing this beautiful thing is worth the effort, the rewards will be more than you ever could have dreamed.

I promise.

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